Of Sea Chest Keys, Prop Wash -- and a Fathom of Shore Line

The Galveston Daily News, Aug. 14, 1988

By MAX RIZLEY, Jr.

ON DECK -- "Say, son, run and get me the sea chest key, willya?"

And another eager young sailor dashes off on a fool's errand.

I don't know why, but the sea seems to generate more than its share of practical jokes.

Generations of Midwestern farmboys have gotten their introduction to life in the Navy, or the Merchant Marine, or the Coast Guard, by being sent in search of buckets of steam, left-handed monkey wrenches, relative bearing grease, prop wash, shore lines -- and sea chest keys.

Of course, there are no sea chest keys. The sea chest is part of the seawater intake of a ship's engine (nyaah, nyaah, nyaah, can't fool me!), but it sure sounds convincing: Yeah, just get the key and open up the sea chest. Delivered by a seasoned senior chief with a good poker face, it's a perfectly logical and reasonable request.

It was certainly reasonable to one youngster who was a guest aboard the Coast Guard cutter Buttonwood during a recent day cruise for family and friends of the crew.

The boy. 10 or 11 yeafs old, was the picture of eagerness as he scurried down from the bridge in search of the elusive sea chest key -- eagerness, and no small degree of pride at having been given so important a task.

It was all the spectators on the bridge could do to stifle the laughter as he emerged onto the well deck below, and went from crewman to crewman with the Question -- and each crewman (for the joke was old-hat to them, and they caught on right away) could be seen looking around, scratching their heads,  trying to "remember" who had it, then fixing their gaze on someone across the deck, and pointing. ("No, I had it yesterday, young fella ... there, ask Seaman Jones over there, I think it's his turn to keep the sea chest key today.")

The poor kid was all over that ship in search of the sea chest key, and he had always just missed it. ("Darn! You should've come to me five minutes ago. I just gave it to the cook." "That's right, son, he did give it to me, but I'm done with it. Lessee ... I think the electrician's mate has it." "Yeah, I did have it, and I gave it back to the cook just before you walked in... ")

Finally, he found it. That is, one of the bosun's mates gave him a key, and he bounded back up to the bridge, two steps at a time, triumphantly holding his prize aloft. "I got it," he chirped to the officer -- his father, no less -- who had sent him on his quest.

"Good, good," the man said.

"Now, take it and go unlock the sea chest for me."

"Oh, and while you're down there, bring me a fathom of shore line, won't you?

-- 30 --